What if you’ve already let go of the past, done the forgiveness thing and are happily going about living your life only to have one of the people you forgave punch you in the gut again with unkind words? Wouldn’t it be so much easier if they could just go back to not being a part of your life? But no such luck. For whatever reason, they feel the need to pick at old wounds, trying to trigger a response or maybe an argument. What to do…
Well, this brings us to a crossroads. Do we hold onto the offense or choose to let it go? Of course, we can forgive again and eventually we will have to anyway, but what can we do for today? What in the world are we supposed to do with the ongoing emotional turmoil of revisiting old hurts? Here’s one idea that may work, depending on the history of the situation and how you parted ways: Say thank you. Not to them necessarily, but at least in your own heart. Yep, you really can practice gratitude in the face of unkindness. Try to think of some good things about them.
Try thinking about these questions:
– Have they ever done any good things for you or someone else you love?
– How did their being a part of your history make you who you are today?
– What did you learn from them that helped you become a better person?
There you have it. I didn’t say it would be easy, but unless you want to pick up this burden and carry it, then radical gratitude might be the order of the day. Maybe even every day for little while. If you want extra credit, write the offender a note and include some of the things you are grateful for concerning them.
Nicole Webb Coaching 